Tag Archives: menstruation

Living Within Your Cycle

As one who no longer flows, I can attest that menstruation is an important and necessary component to a woman’s emotional makeup.

As my body becomes more and more accustomed to the lessening of hormones that menopause brings, I find that my mind wishes to become so, but is as yet unable.

I still seek my cycle day (CD) and the knowledge of where I am within my cycle.  If I detect ovulation, I eagerly anticipate the changes that will lead to menstruation.

Yes, even without a uterus, my body signals when menstruation begins.  Menstruation is more than physical – more than a matter of blood flowing from your vagina.

Menstruation is mental as well. It’s a welcome change…a needed and necessary change.

How often have you said/heard, “I’ll be glad when my period starts!” ?

Why do you suppose we say that? What is it about menstruation that’s so welcome?

I wish all who cycle eagerly anticipated the changes each cycle day brought and welcomed the strengths present in them.

Living within your cycle is an awesome way to live.

It’s empowering.

It’s liberating.

It’s period wise.

Do You Kegel?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Kegel_exercises_diagram.png

Do you Kegel?  You should. It’s period wise.

Pelvic floor muscle training exercises (aka Kegel exercises) offer a boon for both women and men.

Factors such as pregnancy, childbirth, aging, obesity, surgery, and inactivity often result in the weakening of the pelvic muscles leading to:

  • urinary / fecal incontinence
  • pelvic prolapse
  • sexual dysfunction

Kegel exercises can often remedy these issues.

For information on the proper way to Kegel, check out the video: How to Kegel, by Michelle Kenway. And, while you’re at it, check out her other videos, too!

Tampons, TSS and a 15 yr old Girl

If you think tampon related TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) is a thing of the past…think again.

Please, think again.

Peyton, at the age of 15, became ill while menstruating and using tampons.

Read her account of her horrifying experience.

This happened in June of this year.- 4 months ago.

Please learn the facts about TSS.

Be period wise. Be tampon wise.  Be TSS wise.

Your Daughter’s First Period

Whether or not your daughter has experienced her first period, take a look at Kate’s delightful post on Stay At Home Mum’s site.

Kate offers puberty and period wise advice, as well as sage mom advice, too.

As you will see below, Kate urges moms – talk to your daughter before she gets their period.

They grow up so quickly and the baby girl you brought home is no longer a tiny little bundle. You’ve been there to help her learn and grow and have watched her experience so many new things. The time is now coming for your little girl to blossom into a young lady. There’ll be plenty of mood swings, grumbling, some stubbornness, pimples and her first period.  It can be a very scary thing for young girls, the thought of getting her period is really quite daunting (whether they admit it or not). You’ll know when it’s almost time and she’ll start to notice some things too. Hair growing in different places, skin condition changing, sleep patterns may change, her body will begin to develop differently, she’ll start getting cramps and a multitude of other things. The best way to approach puberty is with knowledge. Help your daughter by supplying her with all the information she will need BEFORE she gets her first period to help her reach this milestone in her life without being scared. Even young children ask questions, be honest with them and start with the BASICS when they are beginning to ask questions and spread the information out. Don’t expect to just sit down and talk about it all and think that’s the end of it. It’s a lot to take in and some of it may not be age appropriate depending on when you start your talks. Read more.

What puberty or period wise advice would you add to what Kate offers?

 

Gia Allemand – Beauty and the Beast

Yesterday on the Dr. Phil Show, the mother of reality TV star Gia Allemand talked about her daughter’s tragic suicide.

Donna Micheletti — who was on the phone with the former “Bachelor” star when she hanged herself — described her final moments with her daughter to Dr. Phil, explaining Gia had a history of drastic mood swings around the time of her period.

Donna said, “At that point, with how she felt with her menstrual cycle, she could not see clearly … It was like night and day. It would come out of nowhere. All of a sudden, something would click in there and she would say ‘This isn’t right. He doesn’t love me.'”

Donna acknowledged that Gia had been upset for various reasons — including recent fights with her boyfriend and father — but believes the hormonal extremes are what ultimately drove Gia over the edge. TMZ

I watched the entire hour of Tragic Beauty: The Exclusive Story of a Bachelorette’s Suicide.

It broke my heart to know that Gia suffered horrible mood swings during her cycle and “that time of the month” was a tremendous burden for her to bear emotionally.

There are those who discount the effect her hormonal changes had on her and wish to blame her suicide on other things.  But, from one who experiences things similar to what Gia’s mother described…I know how difficult it can be to see clearly in that dark place once you enter it, and how confusing everything seems.  And, I know how difficult it is (at the time) to believe that in a day or so all will return to normal.

Were there other factors that led to Gia’s suicide?  Most likely, yes.

Did “that time of the month” play a role? Yes, I believe hormonal changes did play a large role in this.

And, I also know this is not a popular position to take.  Don’t believe me?  Just check other blogs online.

Menstrual taboos keep us silent.  It’s time we speak up and speak out.

If hormonal changes in your cycle bring about depressed feelings, especially those that lead to thoughts of suicide, get help. Talk to someone.  Share what you are experiencing. And, don’t stop talking until you find someone who can help you.

You are not alone.  Many others experience this every cycle.  Don’t let fear or embarrassment keep you from getting the help you need.  Break the menstrual taboos that keep you a silent prisoner.

If you experience drastic emotional swings during your cycle, be period wise – keep a CD (Cycle Day) journal.  Within that journal write down what you experience, how you feel, what you think.  Keep track of the changes you experience each day of your cycle.  Share it with your doctor.

Avoid Taint

On Facebook I found this picture with the comment:

Gotta avoid that taint

And, beneath that comment was another:

Hahahahahahahahaha

In all sincerity, please tell me…what is so funny about that?

For those who don’t know, “taint” refers to the part of the perineum found between the genitals and anus.

Now, what’s so funny about that?

Oh, I know – the joke goes like this:

t’ain’t your balls and t’ain’t your ass.

And, for those of us without testicles, it would be

t’ain’t your vulva and t’ain’t your anus.

Again I ask, what’s so funny about the perineum?

Personally, I think the reason for the term “taint” and the laughter it provokes lies more in our discomfort with our bodies and the bodies of others – and in our ignorance of the real names and functions of the parts of our anatomy (and of the anatomy of the sex opposite our own).

The horror is that we pass this attitude of ignorant humor on to our children and perpetuate the legacy of stupidity with words like

  • taint
  • dick/peter
  • pussy
  • cunt
  • balls
  • cooter
  • beaver
  • that time of the month/aunt flo/on the rag

What’s wrong with calling a vagina a vagina and a penis a penis? Why do we need nicknames for certain body parts and bodily functions? Why are we so uncomfortable as a society when it comes to being human?

Do we think we are being cute by teaching our kids to use these terms?

How cute do you think it is when a 35 year old woman goes to her GYN and is unable to explain what her problem is and where because all she knows to call that part of her anatomy is “my pussy.”

Yeah.

Cute is not the term that comes to mind.  And, I guarantee you it’s not the first that comes to her mind, either.

Be period wise.  Be body wise. Learn the terms. Use the terms!

 

Who Are You Infecting?

I experienced the following while at a local garden center. (Hang with me…I’ve an important point to make.)

Two women paused between rows of brightly colored flowers. A conversation ensued.

Woman #1 said, “Oh, look at the beautiful flowers! So pretty!”

Woman #2 answered, “They hold nothing for me.”

Somewhat taken aback, Woman #1 said, “Don’t look at them as just flowers…see them as color…beautiful, bright, bold colors that excite the eyes!”

Woman #2: “They make my eyes hurt!”

Woman #1 paused and looked at her companion before replying. “They may hold nothing for you, but they hold everything for me. And, they speak of life and the joy of living, of hope and love, of growth and change. The colors…they make me happy…make my eyes dance and my heart smile.”

Woman #2: “Bah – make you happy, make your eyes dance and your heart smile?  They would die like all things die and then what would you have?”

Woman #1: “I would have the hope of renewal come Spring.”

Woman #2: “Hope?  Hope is dead…as dead as those flowers will be when Winter’s freeze kills them.”

Woman #1 reached out to touch the yellow blossom before her, and said, “You’re probably right.  I doubt they would survive the winter freezes, and I don’t have time to give them the care they would need.”

Woman #2: “Now you’re talking sense.”

It’s so sad that one’s words and attitude can infect another so quickly and so profoundly.

Let’s tweak that conversation just a bit and place it on the feminine hygiene aisle.  Perhaps it will remind you of a similar conversation you’ve participated in.

Woman #1 said, “Oh, look at all the different colors and product options! So pretty, and so many!”

Woman #2 answered, “You’re kidding right? This stuff excites you?”

Woman #1, somewhat taken aback, said, “Yeah, doesn’t it you? I love my period and I like trying different menstrual products. I learn so much about myself and my flow experience.”

Woman #2: “Um…no. In fact, I find it rather embarrassing to be standing here talking about all this.  Periods are private and there’s certainly nothing good about them. They hold nothing good for me…just pain, irritation, and embarrassment. I’ll be glad when menopause comes.”

Woman #1 paused and looked at her companion before replying. “They may hold nothing for you, but they hold everything for me. And, they speak of life and joy, of growth and change, of flowing and the cycle of life. The colors…they make me happy…make my eyes dance and my heart smile.”

Woman #2: “Excited about period products?  Ha! They are just something to use and throw away – a waste of money really, and totally nasty. At the end of a week, what do you have? Nothing but a pile of smelly trash.”

Woman #1: “I have joy in flowing and in embracing every part of my period…of my cycle…of myself. I have the satisfaction of being self aware and comfortable with who I am. It’s not nasty. There’s nothing nasty about it.  It’s normal.”

Woman #2: “Joy in flowing? Embracing your cycle? What…are you weird or something?  Periods aren’t something to enjoy…they are something to endure and live between. And, these colorful period products…they’re colorful for a reason, you know.  They want your money and don’t give a care about you or your period.”

Woman #1 reached out to touch the yellow box before her, and said, “You’re probably right.  I guess I do sound a bit odd, when I stop and think of it.  I’ll just get a box of tampons and….”

Woman #2: “Now you’re talking sense.”

Be careful. Our words and attitudes infect others – and usually it’s those closest to us…those we care about the most.

  • Be period wise – especially when talking with girls, tweens, and teens.
  • Be period positive and encourage others to embrace themselves –  their cycles – their periods.

If you saw yourself in Woman #2, please find healing before you infect others around you.

If you don’t know where to turn or how to find help and healing, drop me an email and let’s see if we can get you headed in a healthier direction.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pads

Daughter’s doctor appointment drew me to the heart of our city, up to the 9th floor of the Doctor’s Building.

While Daughter was entertaining her doctor, I slipped from the waiting room and paid a brief and welcome visit to the 9th floor women’s restroom.

A quick check revealed that I was alone.  A quick peek into each stall encouraged me to choose the middle one – third from the entrance.

Another woman entered the restroom as I entered the stall and closed the door.  She chose the first stall.

Eager to release the coffee I’d enjoyed earlier, I paid little attention to what was happening two stalls away from me.

At least, I didn’t until I heard a commotion coming from the first stall.

Rattling, clanging, banging and a few softly spoken curse words prompted me to ask, “Is there anything you need that I can get for you??”

There was silence.

And, then a woman spoke.

“Yes, this toilet tissue dispenser won’t release any paper.  Would you mind terribly handing me some tissue?  I hate to ask, but…I’m in a bit of a bind.” (Nervous laughter ensued.)

“Sure,” I said.  Give me just a sec to pull up my jeans and wash my hands, and I’ll hand you all you need.”

“Thanks!” she offered.

With zipped jeans and clean hands, I entered the empty stall next to hers and pulled off a large amount of tissue and slipped it under the stall into her waiting hand.

She thanked me and I returned to the sink where I fiddled with my hair and smoothed my eye brows…looked up my nose and between my teeth…ran water…washed my hands again…dried them…sent a text…smoothed my shirt…dabbed at the water I’d managed to splash onto it….

And, then I heard a soft expletive uttered in the same feminine voice I’d spoken with just minutes before.

Then I heard the toilet flush.  And, immediately, heard it flush again.

Her door handle jiggled and the stall door opened.  I was standing at the sink, washing my glasses, and glanced into the mirror to see her exit the stall.

As she approached the sink, I stepped toward the paper towel dispenser.  As I reached for a paper towel, the young woman spoke.

“Would you believe that not only could I not get any toilet paper, there also was not a trash thingie in the stall?”

“Unbelievable!” I uttered.  I stepped to my right and turned to face the open door of the stall she had vacated just seconds before.  The water in the toilet bowl was still moving.

The toilet paper dispenser was jammed.  And, behind it was the hollow metal frame that held the feminine hygiene trash receptacle, but the receptacle was missing.

I turned to look at the young woman. She had not exited the stall with anything but her purse.  And, she had not thrown anything into the trash. Of that I was certain.

“I had to flush it,” she said.  “It took two tries before it finally went down and stayed down!”

“It?” I asked.

“Yes, the pad I was wearing. There was no place to put it…no where to put it…no trash thingie in the stall,” she said.

“Oh…you flushed your pad…wow,” I said out loud before I caught myself.

“Yeah, I mean…what was I supposed to do? Bring it out of the stall with me and throw it away here in front of everyone? I mean, really? That would have been SOOO embarrassing!” She said this with eyes wide and great sincerity.

I stood looking at this precious young woman who had just flushed her period pad down the toilet because she was too embarrassed to bring it out of the stall with her.

As she carefully washed her hands and glanced at me in the mirror, I offered: “It would have been okay if you had thrown it away out here.  In fact, I wouldn’t have even noticed if you had.  People don’t pay attention to what other people do as much as we think they do.  Just because we are aware doesn’t mean anyone else is. And, remember…this is the women’s restroom. It’s where WOMEN go, where WOMEN gather, where WOMEN take care of needs. Everyone who comes in here knows about periods and understands the need to dispose of used products. It’s like the sisterhood of the traveling pads. They are either traveling into the stall or out of it.  Don’t be embarrassed.  It’s normal.  It’s natural. And, it’s not something we need to be ashamed of or feel a need to hide from others.”

There was a pause and I waited for her thoughts concerning what I’d said.

What came instead was, “Do you think it will stop up the plumbing?”

“The pad?” I asked.

“Yes, do you think it will?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Personally, I hope it keeps on traveling! But, I’m out of here before it has a chance to do otherwise and they come looking for the one who flushed it!” I said with a smile.

“Me, too!” she squealed. “Let’s get out of here, sister!”

And, we did…exiting the women’s room loudly enough to turn heads and earn a stern look from the receptionist.

The sisterhood of the traveling pads…I was in the presence of many women today as I went from place to place.  I wondered…how many were menstruating?  And, of those who were…how many belonged to the sisterhood of the traveling pads?

Menopause – Blessing or Curse?

Carolyn West recently posted a delightful personal piece entitled “Ladies of a Certain Age: Why Nobody Talks About Menopause.”

Just like nobody ever talked about what your body would be like after childbirth, and nobody ever talked about how you would be up all night with a screaming baby, and nobody ever talked about how friggin’ hard marriage is sometimes… nobody talks about menopause. Why? Maybe for the same reason that when we are 10 years old, we have no interest in hearing about menstruation. It’s icky, it’s embarrassing and while we know it’s inevitable, we are still clinging to the hope that we’ll be the only one who will skate through it unscathed.

If you menstruate, you will one day experience menopause. That’s a fact.

Why hide it?

Why act like it doesn’t happen and that it won’t, or doesn’t, affect us?

For more information about menopause check out what some doctors advise concerning it.

Being period wise extends from pre-menarche to post-menopause.

Be period wise. It’s an attitude that makes a difference.

What Would You Do Differently?

If you knew that your next period would be your last…

  • what would you do differently?
  • what would you like to experience during it?
  • what would you like to share of it? and, with whom?
  • would you be more open about the fact that you are menstrual?
  • would you invite your daughter to experience your flow in some way? to view your used product?
  • would you share your experience with your best friend?

If you knew that your next period would be your last, is there anything that you would feel had been left undone? or, anything you might regret not doing once it’s no longer an option?

Most women do not know when their last period will be (unless radical surgery ends it) and never consider how they will feel and whether they will have regrets when they discover that their last period was, indeed, their last.

Why wait?  Why risk leaving important things undone? Why not, at your next period, do the period wise things that came to mind when I asked the questions above?