Tag Archives: menstruation

PMS or SDC

We all know that PMS stands for PreMenstrual Syndrome.

(Or, Plain Mean Sometimes…Potty Mouth Screaming…Period Mood Swings…Pass Me the Shotgun…Perpetual Munching Spree…Puffy MidSection…Plainly Men Suck…Pimples May Surface…Potential Murder Suspect…)

My senior adult mom and I were watching TV together and an ad came on asking the question: “Do you struggle with PMS?”

Mom replied immediately. “I’ve never had PMS in my life!”

I looked at her in shock and disbelief.  After all, I spent the first 20 years of my life in her house.  I knew about her mood swings and I knew they were cyclical.

My reply?  “What the heck? What do you mean you’ve never had PMS in your life?  You’re joking…right?”

Memory after memory sprang to mind of her with PMS…scary….

Mom’s reply was: “No! I’m not kidding. I’ve never had PMS in my life – ever.  Your dad said numerous times that he could tell when my period was going to start because I turned mean a few days beforehand.  But, that was just him talking.  I wasn’t aware of any changes in how I acted or felt.  I do know that he got on my nerves more at some times than he did at others and I assumed HE was the one with the problem…not me.  Certainly NOT me!”

I laughed…out loud…loud and long.

“What’s so funny?” she asked.

“You are!” I replied. ‘You’ve never had PMS a day in your life?”

“NEVER!” She insisted and then went on, “PMS is all hype.  It’s an excuse for being yourself. It’s like when people drink a little too much alcohol and say and do things they wouldn’t ordinarily and they blame the alcohol. Women act up or act out of character and blame it on PMS saying ‘I can’t help it, I have PMS.’. In reality, they can help it, they just don’t want to help it. Maybe a change in hormones at that time of the month uninhibits them and allows the real ‘them’ to come out. Maybe they see it as a time to say what’s been on their mind all month long and set some things straight.”

She continued. “They simply don’t care.”

I stared at her as my mind recalled time after time after time of times when she said what was “on her mind” and “set things straight.”

“Simply don’t care, huh?” I asked.

“Yep,” was her reply.

“And, you’ve never had a moment of PMS in your whole life?” I quizzed again.

“Nope!” was her response. Then she continued. “I never blamed my actions or reactions on an acronym or on my hormones. I was who I was and I took responsibility for what I said.  It wasn’t PMS talking.  That was me. All month long, every day of the month…I was myself. I didn’t need to hide behind PMS.  I was comfortable saying what I thought and being who I was all the time. And, if those few days before my period started freed me a little to be even more myself…then so be it. I welcomed it!”

I silently contemplated my mother’s words. Hormonally speaking, I was in the more agreeable portion of my cycle.  There would be no argument…not from me. That’s not who I was that day.

That day I was in more of a contemplative mood….  This conversation happened several weeks ago – well before Christmas – and it’s still on my mind now.

Simply Don’t Care – is that what really happens to so many of us premenstrually? Do we really not care and use PMS as a cover for unleashing who we really are?

Hmmm…perhaps.  And, perhaps not.

I do know that during those few days when premenstrual, I can be a bear (no put down to bears intended) and lash out at those I love the most.  I can’t seem to help myself…stop myself… but the truth is it’s far easier to give in those feelings that seem/are so close to the surface, so eager to come up and out….

When I feel irritable inside…body and mind, I don’t mind spreading the irritability around.  And, when premenstrual, oh, yes…I’m willing (if not eager) to share my irritation with anyone who rubs up against me…or rubs me the wrong way.

And, at the time I feel like I’m being my usual self and all the world has gone crazy.  I feel more true to myself than at any other time.  Now…that’s a scary thought! 😉

Could I control myself? Yes. But, it would take effort and forethought.

Would I want to?

Heck no!

In fact, I wouldn’t even give control a thought.  Easier to react than to act, I would choose to unleash the beast.

Sad.

I could tell those around me, “I’m uptight and need some alone/quiet time” and seek space of my own to find solace and enable my mind to calm and me to regain control of myself, my emotions, my actions…my tongue.

Finding peace in the chaos of SDC or PMS is not easy, but I believe it is possible.

PMS should serve as a reminder of the need for a Pro Menstruation Management System (PMMS).

Before my hormones can send me into PMS overdrive and I SDC, I’m going do all I can to be pro menstruation and manage my intake, uptake (stress/rest/food/drink/medication/vitamins/activities/etc) and outflow systematically throughout my cycle by using a PMMS.

What does a PMMS look like?

Check back in a few days.  That’s my next blog post!

Taking the Lead

True movers and shakers arise and become leaders because they address a need for change, provide a new focus, shine light on new possibilities, and reveal differences that require addressing. Their difference is intriguing and irresistible.

They work behind the scenes (usually just being themselves) while others take notice of their unique qualities and the difference their presence makes. Others begin to follow, to seek to conform, to become a part of the change.

Leaders step in when a gap is created – not because they seek power, but because they are busy living who they are in such a way that makes taking the lead a natural progression of simply living into being themselves.

Who do you know to be a mover and shaker, an advocate, an innovator, a change-maker…a leader in things period wise?

I”ll start the list – you finish it for me.

What Do You Fear?

For many years I feared that which I could not control and had no control over…my flow.

I could not control when it started or how long it lasted.

I had no control over how heavily I flowed or if I leaked.

That was unnerving.

Tampons were my go-to from the moment I thought flow would begin until after all color had departed.

And, when I say tampons I mean the biggest, most absorbent, baddest, fattest tampons I could find.

I didn’t just use one…I would use two…three…and have been known to use four or more at a time to achieve a sense of control over my flow.

I hated leaks…hated leaking.  The fear of embarrassment was overwhelming.

And, as I watch girls, teens and women, I know the fear is universal.

It saddens me.  Does it you?

What do you fear? And, why?

What would happen if you set aside the fear and just…lived, loved and embraced menstruation as it comes?

Let’s address the fear and find a solution.

Breaking cultural / social menstrual taboos is a good place to start.

And, so is taking a good long look at menstrual products.   It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway.  Not all menstrual products are created equal. And, they are not one size fits all.

Let’s accept menstruation as normal (it is) and not as an embarrassing or shame-filled experience (it’s not).

Let’s model a healthy and period wise attitude toward menstruation and let’s pay it forward to the next generation.

Let’s empower ourselves and others – knowledge is power – and, let’s choose products that are as healthy as they are helpful.

Be wise when it comes to period matters.

 

 

 

In with the New

A very important thing to remember from this day forward, for the next 364 days, is: change the year to from 2013 to 2014.

Apart from changing the 3 to a 4 in 2014, what else needs our attention as we welcome the new year and all the new it brings with it?

A new year is like other new things…it likes company.

Ever buy a new purse? Yep, a new purse begs for new shoes. A new house? Yep…gotta have a new sofa and new curtains. No way that old stuff is gonna work with new.

The same is true with a new year.  Why would anyone want to bring in that old stuff we lived in throughout 2013 and clutter 2014 with it. Nobody I know wants to end 2014 on the same page they ended 2013 on, but they’re bringing everything with them when they change that 3 to a 4.

Let’s change it up.

Let’s make 2014 a year that redefines menstruation and all things period wise. Let’s make it a year of discovery, of excitement, of body literacy, and acceptance.

  • What period wise resolutions will you make?
  • What unwise period habits will you break?
  • What period wise dreams will you wake?
  • What period wise chances will you take?
  • What weakness, period wise, will you stake?
  • What period product will you wisely shake?
  • What period litter will you forsake?
  • What will you change, period wise, and for who’s sake?
  • What action will ease another’s ache, period wise?

It’s time.

Day 1.

The past has passed. The future lies before us – each day new. Let’s embrace it and live fully as we lean hard into who we are and who we want to be this next year.

Begin now…there’s no better time than the present.

I can’t think of a better way to ring in the new year!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Out With the Old

It’s sad to say goodbye to an old friend.

2013 was a constant companion these past 365 days but at midnight tomorrow, 2013 slips away and I’ll see it only in my memories and in the blog posts I wrote.

2013 continued the changes that 2012 brought, but it also stretched and grew me in ways I’d not imagined or planned on: spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

In some ways, I grew stronger.  Muscles rippled as I threw myself into yard work and gardening. Health improved as I ate better (and less). I became a lean, mean, working machine.

In other ways, I grew weaker. I fretted and stressed over things I had no control over. And, I allowed things to discourage me and keep me from accomplishing my goals.

As I stand with 2013 at my back and 2014 facing me, I look at who I was this past year…who I am at this moment…and who I want to be this time next year.

It’s time to let go of the past and let my next step take me into the future, with each step thereafter leading me closer to the me I want to be.

Do I have it all figured out yet?  No.  But, I do know this:

  • I need to hang on to the things that push me forward toward the fulfillment of my dreams and lean all the harder into them.
  • And, I need to turn loose of all that sidelines me, distracts me, or drives me in a direction other than that which leads to the fruition of my goals.
  • I must be single-minded in my pursuit of making my dreams a reality.

What about you? It’s time to let go of the past. And, it’s time to embrace the new.

How does this apply to you period wise?

  • Are there attitudes about your menstrual experience that you need to discard?
  • Are there fears you need to address?
  • Are there products you need to dispose of?
  • Do you need answers to questions, or understanding about your own experience (or that of your daughter)?
  • Do you hate your cycle?
  • Are there taboos you want to break?
  • Do you want more from your menstrual experience than you have but are unsure how to make it happen?
  • Is there something you’ve always wanted to try…to do…but haven’t?

Let go of the old and embrace the new.

There’s a bright new world out there, period wise.

Let 2013 be the year that launches you into that new world of discovery, better health, peace of mind, menstruation appreciation, self awareness, and cycle embracing fulfillment.

Make Your Own Happiness

Sometimes you have to make your own happiness.

Yes, you do.

When was the last time you bemoaned…anything? (an event, a relationship, a happening, a loss, a lack, a disappointment, a frustration, a hurt…menstruation, hormonal changes)

How much time did you spend griping about it? How much effort did you invest in your expressions of discontent?

My guess is that more time, energy and activity was spent bemoaning (whatever it was) than on finding happiness.

Now, I’ll agree with you. Sometimes it’s hard to find that little sparkle when the sparks fly.

Laughing is difficult when you feel more like groaning or crying.

It’s hard to smile when the gravity of a situation pulls your smile down into a frown.

It’s natural (and, at times, helpful) to invest emotional resources on that which eats at us.

But, when negative things and thoughts consume us, we find it difficult to recognize and accept the positive.

That’s not beneficial to our well-being and it indicates a need for action on our part.

What do you do when you can’t find one tiny glimmer of positive within all the negative?

Here’s what you do. When sad frowns have you down, turn one upside-down.

Seriously! Choose one part of the whole and look at it…differently.

Make your own happiness.

Happiness doesn’t just happen you know. It springs from an attitude of gratitude.

Now, look back at the image that played in your head when I asked, “When was the last time you bemoaned…anything?”

Find the sparkle. Look for the tiny glimmer. Turn a frown upside-down. Find something you can feel positive and good about.

Make your own happiness – especially period wise.

World AIDS Day 2013

Today is World AIDS Day.

What can you do to make a difference?

AIDS affects millions of children, teens, women and men world wide. Chances are it affects someone you know.

In 2011, women and adolescent girls (aged 13 and older) accounted for 21% of the estimated 49,273 new diagnoses of HIV infection in the United States. Black, Hispanic/Latino, and white women represented 97% (9,901) of estimated new diagnoses of HIV infection among all women in 2011. Among a total of 10,270 new HIV diagnoses among women and adolescent girls, 86% of HIV infections were attributed to heterosexual contact and 14% to injection drug use. Overall, CDC estimates that 279,100 women and adolescent girls were living with HIV at the end of 2009 and that 15% of those did not know that they were infected. This means they are not getting life-saving treatment or taking steps to protect their partners. (Read more.)

Four risk factors put ALL women (all includes you and your daughter) at risk for HIV:

  • sex (yes, that includes oral)
  • having EVER had unprotected sex (vaginal/anal/oral) with a male partner who has had sex (oral/anal) with another male
  • drug use (which can lead to risky behaviors, like having sex or sharing needles, etc)
  • sexual abuse

Menstrual problems are common for women with HIV: lighter or heavier bleeding, missed periods, more severe PMS, early menopause.

And, there are menstrual concerns when we consider HIV/AIDS – just like there are when there is potential for contact with ANY bodily fluid from ANYONE.

 HIV/AIDS among girls and women is a real concern. What are you doing to raise awareness?

BV or Yeast?

If you find yourself itchy “down there” with a recurrent irritating discharge and odor, and find that over the counter yeast infection creams don’t help – you might have BV (bacterial vaginosis).

Learn what causes the recurring itch and what to do about it in Dr. Lauren Streicher‘s article, “When Your Vagina’s in a Phunk.”

Here’s an excerpt.

In addition to being uncomfortable and dangerous, BV can be really expensive. Ask any woman who has gone to the drugstore and invested $50 in anti-yeast medication only to find that the irritation, odor and discharge are still there. By the time she sees her doctor, gets a test for BV, and pays for her prescription, one episode of BV can cost hundreds of dollars. As if that weren’t enough, it comes back 30% of the time. Read more.

What’s Your Period Personality?

When it comes to your period, what’s your personality?

Are you…

  • shy?
  • outgoing?
  • private?
  • open?
  • bold?
  • timid?
  • adventuresome?
  • conservative?
  • a risk taker?
  • prefer to play it safe?
  • satisfied?
  • searching?

Your period personality can reveal much about who you are and how you feel about

  • menstruation
  • your cycle
  • your body
  • yourself
  • femininity
  • life
  • your role(s)
  • change
  • aging
  • moods
  • improvement

Did you know your period personality affects more than just you? Yes! It affects your

  • daughter
  • son
  • partner/significant other
  • coworkers
  • peers
  • friends
  • environment
  • finances
  • mental health
  • physical well-being
  • attire
  • sleep
  • work
  • travel

What’s your period personality?  And…why?

Think “change” this month.

Be period wise. Be wise, period.