Did you ever fake it?
I did – as a 7th grader. In my group, I was the only one who had not yet reached menarche.
The new ad by Hello Flo brought back so many memories. I’ve laughed and cried. And, I’ve wanted to hug that little 7th grader from my past who lied about starting and assure her that it’s okay to be different.
Be yourself. You can’t be anyone else. Being honest about your experience and true to yourself is period wise.
Everyone knows what normal is…right?
Normal is…normal.
It’s behavior and activity that is common. It’s what we assume is experienced by most, if not all. It’s what’s expected. It’s what we’re accustomed to.
Did you know that what you consider normal might not be “normal” at all?
Did you know that your normal menstrual experience is unique to you? Why? Because YOU are unique and all that goes into making you who you are affects you – uniquely.
While the words you use to describe your experience are words commonly used by most women to describe the normal ins and outs, ups and downs of menstruation, these words are unique because of the meanings we attach to them individually.
After all, it’s normal for some women to experience heavy flow, right? And, we all know what “heavy” means.
No. We don’t.
YOU know what you mean when you give your flow a designation of light or heavy to signify amount and duration. But, I don’t know unless you elaborate. What I know is what I mean when I say “heavy period” and I naturally assume you mean the same thing.
If you tell me, “I’m having cramps” I”m going to filter your comment through what I’ve experienced myself and suggest what’s worked for me. And, if my experience has been to have very little pain period wise, I’m going to make an assumption that may be wrong.
While it’s common for women to experience flow that is heavier on some days than it is on others, and it’s somewhat expected to experience some discomfort at some point during your cycle, considering either “normal” is not period wise.
However, knowing what is normal for YOU is period wise.
Finding normal is important. And, understanding what your normal is and how it differs from what other women experience helps us see how unique we truly are. And, it can also reveal to us a need to take a closer look at what we assume to be normal but may, in reality, be quite abnormal.
The only way to find normal is to give voice to what we are experiencing and do so using unique words that avoid general / normal terms like “heavy” or “light” or “crampy.”
Break the pattern of over-generalization and let’s get specific.
Find your normal and compare it with the normal experiences of others. I guarantee you, it will be an awakening long overdue.
If what you discover creates questions or causes alarm – talk with your doctor using specific terms and accurate counts.
Menstruation is not a time for generalization.
We are uniquely ourselves during that brief time in our cycle. Find your normal and you will find yourself. Share your normal and you share yourself with others. Embrace the normal of another and you gain a depth of appreciation for and understanding of another woman and her experience of normal that will enrich your own experience.
Finding normal is period wise.
#MenstruationMatters
With that hashtag, people the world over are raising awareness about the role good menstrual hygiene management plays in enabling women and girls to reach their full potential.
Did you catch that?
…reach their full potential.
Has the lack of good menstrual hygiene management prevented you from reaching your full potential? What about your daughter?
Before you answer, think of the taboos surrounding menstruation and the issues faced by menstruating women – even here in the US. Think about your own experiences at school, work, public restrooms….
Today is the first ever Menstrual Hygiene Day (or, #MenstrualHygiene Day on Twitter).
It’s a global opportunity to join together and break the silence, rip out taboos, and raise awareness about the need for good menstrual hygiene.
Imagine a world where every woman and girl is able to manage her menstruation in a hygienic manner – no matter where she is – and do so privately, safely and with dignity.
Dignity – how’s that for a word to associate with menstruation!
Let’s end the shame. #MenstruationMatters and so does #MenstrualHygiene.
For more information on Menstrual Hygiene Day, visit Menstrual Hygiene Day.Org.
Was #ConfidentCarry worth it?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: yes, it was.
Would I do it again?
You betcha.
In fact, I’m going to do it every time I leave the house.
Why?
Because I believe it’s important that girls, teens and women see #confidentcarry of menstrual products on a regular basis.
Why hide?
Be period wise and appraise your method of carry and the reason why.
For one such as I who was taught from youth to conceal carry menstrual / feminine hygiene products, the idea of #confidentcarry stirred fears I thought long extinguished and concerns that were not period wise.
These were nothing more than nonsensical taboos learned years ago and still mirrored in society today. But, for a brief moment, they felt real…so real.
For that moment, that brief moment when sweat broke out on my brow, I was that teen who was so afraid of discovery, so afraid of leaking, so afraid of embarrassment, so afraid that someone would know…would see….
It was not my first time to #confidentcarry. But, it was the first time that #confidentcarry truly changed me.
How?
Taboos, even long forgotten ones, have power to enslave us.
#ConfidentCarry broke the final chains of the taboos of my yesterdays…taboos placed on me by well-meaning but misguided people and culture.
#ConfidentCarry freed me to be fully and simply me – whenever, however, with whatever I choose.
#Conficentcarry is period wise.
I suppose the biggest concern about #confidentcarry and the reason most girls and women opt for
concealed carry of menstrual supplies and other feminine hygiene needs is what others will say or think.
Pressure to conform to the norm is common in all areas of life. People want what they are comfortable with and are quick to speak up when something attempts to move them beyond their comfort zone.
Nonconformity kicks the norm to the curb, ends taboos and creates a new way of doing things, offers a new attitude, and provides new insight.
Why is it such a “no-no” for menstrual / feminine hygiene products to be visible? And, why is it a bad thing if others know we are menstruating? Why hide it? We act like menstruation is shameful. Did you know your attitude and behavior tells others who you are? More importantly it tells them how they should treat you as well as how they should think and feel about things that concern you.
Ending menstrual taboos begins with us – with you and with me.
Reaction to #ConfidentCarry was a concern as I stepped out of my front door and into a world that expects (dare I say demands?) concealed carry and uses embarrassment as a means to control those who don’t conform.
As you read the reactions below, keep in mind that I was out in public with a large overnight pad stuck to the back of my shirt with #confidentcarry written on it. 5 or 6 large tampons were sticking out of my back pocket and I carried a clear plastic bag with brightly colored pads, wipes, a purple reusable menstrual cup and a disposable cup. All were highly visible and often carried with “in your face” attitude – from 11:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m. Friday, May 9.)
Reactions to #ConfidentCarry:
What was your reaction to #ConfidentCarry? What would have been your reaction if you’d seen me?
As I write this, my thoughts are more on the day ahead than on what I’m going to say here.
The arrival of flow (far earlier than was expected) necessitated an adjustment in plans.
The “flow” I’m referring to isn’t menstrual – it’s RAIN.
Super absorbent pads are good at one thing – absorbing.
This is a heavy flow day and I’ll need a lot of product to get me through if I #ConfidentCarry in the manner in which I’ve planned.
What are my #ConfidentCarry plans?
The picture above is of a pad I’ve created to wear on the back of my shirt. I’ve another to wear on the front. From the small hip pocket of my black pants, tampons will protrude. And, in a zip-top bag my menstrual cup, wipes, and a few large, brightly colored pads will accompany me…in my hand, on a table, desk…beside me wherever I am.
Where will I be today?
This morning, I will be at my desk. Work will occupy me until late morning. Beyond work? Ah, I’ve several things planned. A trip to Home Depot to return a purchase, lunch out with my daughter, Walmart, Kroger, a visit with my mom, dinner out with Hubby….
These are my plans for how and where I will #confidentcarry.
What are yours?
Do you prefer your menstrual experience to be happy?
Or…meaningful?
“Happy” speaks of self – of attending to that which makes self content and which moves self in the direction desired. Happiness focuses on self first.
“Meaningful” speaks of others – our actions toward others uplift and help move them in a direction that is empowering. Meaningfulness focuses on others.
So, I ask again.
Do you prefer your menstrual experience to be happy? Or, meaningful?
Can it be both?
Sure it can.
But, instead of starting with “what will make my period a happy one” begin instead with “how can my menstrual experience, wisdom, knowledge, and attitude be meaningful to others?”
As you focus on empowering others period wise, you will find true happiness and fulfillment in your own menstrual experience.
Make a meaningful difference in the life of your girl – empower her to be period wise. Encourage her to embrace her cycle. Let her know it’s okay (by example) to confident carry and to stand up to those who would seek to embarrass her and shame her into denying her menstruation.
#confidentcarry #May9
How much do you love her? And, how well do you know her?
Which “her” am I referring to?
Your her – that’s who.
Your body, that is.
Do you love her? Care for her? Know her?
Have you explored every little nook and cranny, bump and depression, protrusion and deep cavern? Do you know her ups and downs, ins and outs…know her up and down, inside and outside?
If not…why not? You should. Makes no difference what your mother, father, teacher, preacher…told you.
She’s your her and she’s yours to love. That means she’s your responsibility to keep safe, clean, well and happy.
No one can love and care for her like you can. And, no one can know her as well as you.
If you don’t, who will?
Oh, don’t depend on your doctor to know her well. Your doctor goes by what he/she sees of her and hears of her…hears of her from your own words via your own explanations and understanding.
If you don’t know her how will you know when she’s ailing or not quite normal?
How will you know when things go wrong with her? How will you know what makes her happy? How will you know how to fix what’s wrong or change what she doesn’t like?
Menstruation is a good time to start getting to know her on a more personal level. Seriously.
And, continue throughout each day of your cycle. Learn of her. Get to know her…all of her.
You’ll be glad you did.
Be period wise. Be body wise. Be HER wise.
