Tag Archives: feminine hygiene products

#ConfidentCarry – The Reactions of Others

I suppose the biggest concern about #confidentcarry and the reason most girls and women opt for concealed carry of menstrual supplies and other feminine hygiene needs is what others will say or think.

Pressure to conform to the norm is common in all areas of life.  People want what they are comfortable with and are quick to speak up when something attempts to move them beyond their comfort zone.

Nonconformity kicks the norm to the curb, ends taboos and creates a new way of doing things, offers a new attitude, and provides new insight.

Why is it such a “no-no” for menstrual / feminine hygiene products to be visible?  And, why is it a bad thing if others know we are menstruating? Why hide it? We act like menstruation is shameful. Did you know your attitude and behavior tells others who you are?  More importantly it tells them how they should treat you as well as how they should think and feel about things that concern you.

Ending menstrual taboos begins with us – with you and with me.

Reaction to #ConfidentCarry was a concern as I stepped out of my front door and into a world that expects (dare I say demands?) concealed carry and uses embarrassment as a means to control those who don’t conform.

As you read the reactions below, keep in mind that I was out in public with a large overnight pad stuck to the back of my shirt with #confidentcarry written on it.  5 or 6 large tampons were sticking out of my back pocket and I carried a clear plastic bag with brightly colored pads, wipes, a purple reusable menstrual cup and a disposable cup. All were highly visible and often carried with “in your face” attitude – from 11:00 a.m. until 8:00 p.m. Friday, May 9.)

Reactions to #ConfidentCarry:

  • From Daughter at various times before I left the house: You’re going to wear that on your shirt?  All day?  And, I’m going to be with you while you do? Does it have to be so big? I’m glad it’s you and not me. No way would I do something like that. This is crazy. Um…those tampons are going to show, you know.  Do you think you got a big enough plastic bag, I mean, how are you going to carry it…in your hand?
  • From Husband before he left for work: I know this is #ConfidentCarry Day. Does that mean during our date this evening you will, um…#confidentcarry? You will? Oh, boy…that’s going to be embarrassing.
  • Next door neighbor: quizzical look, frown, then smile and wave as I greet him.
  • Daughter as we drive to Home Depot: You’re really going to walk into Home Depot with that pad on your back? Oh, this I’ve gotta see.
  • Daughter upon exiting the car in the Home Depot parking lot: Go ahead Period Wise, I’ve got the camera. Hey, you just had to take the path that lead through the most people, didn’t you.
  • Customer Service Rep at the return counter when I placed my clear bag containing supplies on the counter: quick glance and nothing more.
  • Two salesmen approached us with an offer to redo our kitchen. They conversed for about 60 seconds and then I dropped my plastic bag and turned to pick it up. Daughter said their reaction was priceless when they saw what was in my bag, the pad on my back and the tampons in my pocket: Immediate shock – eyes big, mouth open, stuttering, looked at each other and back at me, then at her, then at my products again.  When I turned to face them again, it was evident they were flustered and embarrassed – faces red and they weren’t sure what to say.  They excused themselves and we parted ways.
  • Two women talking in Home Depot’s green house – as I passed them I slowed, their conversation stopped abruptly and there was a silent pause for a count of 10 and then conversation resumed as though nothing had interrupted them.
  • A group of 3 young female teens, displaying ethnic pride through their choice of clothing, paused their conversation and watched me, then whispered quietly amongst themselves.
  • A white haired man intentionally walked past me, paused and turned to look at me, walked past me again, paused and looked back at me once more.  For 5 minutes he wandered around with eyes turned my way, watching. When my eyes caught his, he smiled.
  • In Subway a woman took a picture of me from the rear.
  • While waiting in line at Subway a group of 4 young men seated at a table in view of me talked, pointed and snickered.
  • The man behind me in line at Subway took three steps backward when he saw what was on my back.
  • Two women followed me into the Subway parking lot and watched me get into the car.
  • At McDonald’s the only reaction I received was from a middle aged woman who seemed mesmerized by the pad on my back.
  • Several Walmart customers took notice – all women. No one commented. I received stares and smiles – not so much from the product I carried but from the pad on my back.
  • The cashier at Walmart saw my #confidentcarry clear bag when I placed it on the counter to count out $ to pay for my purchase. She looked at it long and hard, then at me, smiled and said, “Have a nice day!”
  • When I dropped by Mom’s house she asked, “What’s that stuck to the back of your shirt?” When I explained she said, “Well, it’s about time!” And, then, she said, “Are those tampons sticking out of your pocket? Let me see one. Wow, these are huge. I didn’t know they came this big!”
  • At Office Depot a man walked down the same aisle I was on, saw the pad on my back and wheeled around and exited quickly.
  • At Office Depot a tampon fell from my pocket and a worker said, “You dropped something.” I waited to see if she would pick it up for me and when she didn’t I thanked her, picked it up in such a way that I was sure she knew about #confidentcarry and then turned to look at her – eyes wide open…mouth, too.
  • At Kroger two people noted my #confidentcarry bag but said nothing and moved on.
  • At Kroger a girl noticed the sign on my back and asked the woman she was with what I had on my back and what it said.
  • At Zaxby’s four young women at a table began a #confidentcarry discussion upon seeing my #confidentcarry.

What was your reaction to #ConfidentCarry? What would have been your reaction if you’d seen me?

#ConfidentCarry – What I Learned

As one who spends a good bit of her day talking menstruation (menstrual products, body awareness, cycle consciousness, etc) I was taken aback by the repression I felt before I ever stepped foot out of my house #ConfidentCarry morning.

Pressure to conform to behavior that brought NO attention to menstruation was applied through subtle questions and not so subtle comments made by family members.

I knew to expect some resistance from without.  But, from my own family? And…from deep within myself?  That little voice of reason within kept whispering ages-old-wisdom to me (aka taboos).

Menstrual shame is so deeply ingrained within us, within society. Societal norms contradicted everything I was about to do.

As I stepped from my front porch and walked toward the car, I felt as though a spotlight was on me and my very being was magnified larger than life.  It had been a long, long time since I’d felt that self-conscious.  I felt like everyone was looking at me…at the pad on my back.

In fact, no one was.

As my daughter and I headed to our scheduled stops, I imagined several possible scenarios – reactions, interactions…and what I hoped to accomplish in each.

#ConfidentCarry was a terrific learning tool.  Here are some things I learned. (I say “some” because I am continually discovering things I learned as I play the event over in my mind.)

  • Menstrual shame is deeply ingrained in society.
  • Public display of personal feminine hygiene products is beyond the comfort zone of most.
  • People are curious and amazingly open.
  • Older women are more accepting of #confidentcarry than younger.
  • Men displayed the most discomfort and the most curiosity.
  • Young men were more apt to vocalize their uneasiness with laughter and crude comments.
  • Girls and teens are watching…ever watching.  They notice everything.
  • Self-consciousness fades as self-confidence builds.
  • #Confidentcarry triggered something (memory, comment, event) deep within every woman who noticed the overnight pad stuck to my back.
  • The longer I was in #confidentcarry mode, the more confident I became – I didn’t feel a need to hide ANYTHING. It was liberating.
  • After the initial surprise of seeing the pad on my back for what it was, life went on…conversations continued…it was nothing to get excited about.
  • Period products are packaged for #confidentcarry – have you noticed?
  • I found myself wanting to show my product off, inquire of others what they were carrying, and compare (like kids with collectable cards).
  • There is great curiosity about menstruation and menstrual products. And, a great need for openness.
  • We fear what we don’t understand and create taboos. Breaking taboos can be as simple as #confidentcarry.
  • Menstruation education is woefully lacking – for girls and for boys.  Concealed carry only adds to the mystery, perpetuates myths and strengthens taboos.
  • People become comfortable with what they are repeatedly exposed to. Over a brief time, #confidentcarry became the norm.
  • Hey – it’s a tampon…pad…cup. What’s the big deal anyway?

Truth, as I see it.  And, period wise, too.

What did you learn from #confidentcarry?

#ConfidentCarry Reflection

Three days out, I turn to reflect on #confidentcarry. Throughout the coming week, posts here will cover the following topics.

  1. what I learned
  2. what surprised me
  3. the reactions of others
  4. how it changed me
  5. an appraisal of #confidentcarry
  6. the narratives of others

#ConfidentCarry is still changing me and those nearest me even thought it happened 3 days ago.

Public display of #confidentcarry began a journey not only for me, but also for those nearest me because it changed the way they will forever see and feel about menstrual / feminine hygiene products.

Here’s an example:  Last night while Hubby and I were at Lowe’s he noticed what he thought was #confidentcarry.

“Look,” he said, “her tampons are showing – she’s doing the #confidentcarry thing!”

I followed his gaze and saw a young women in jeans.  It appeared that she had something pink sticking out of one of her hip pockets.  We walked closer for a better view and realized the pink was not in her pocket, but rather an applique above her pocket.

Hubby’s #confidentcarry experience during our Friday night date forever changed him and opened his eyes to the possibilities and freedom that #confidentcarry offers.

Can you imagine a world where #confidentcarry is the accepted norm?  #Confidentcarry has the power to change the world one person, one attitude at a time.

Can you see that #confidentcarry of that which society says is forbidden to acknowledge has the power to end shame and bring about an attitude of #confidentcarry in all aspects of life?

Confidence – isn’t that what we want for our girls?  for ourselves?