Category Archives: Women

Out With the Old, In With the New

New year New YouHere we sit on the brink of a new year filled with new opportunities and possibilities.

What does that mean to you period wise?

Here’s a quick list for consideration as you turn your back on the old and face the new.

  • try something new (product, attitude, activity)
  • learn something new (about yourself, your flow, your cycles, a product you’re curious about)
  • be curious (Infinity pads, menstrual cups, 100% organic cotton tampons, cloth pads, free bleeding)
  • be adventuresome (step outside of your menstrual comfort zone)
  • share (don’t keep your growth and discoveries to yourself)
  • prepare (the next generation to be period wise – you may be their only hope of a great start)
  • create change (first in yourself then in your world)
  • be period proud

Happy New Year!

Bride Chooses Wisely – For Herself and Her Future

The net has been awash with posts about the bride in India who walked away from her wedding, refusing join herself in marriage to the groom who could not correctly add 15+6. (More on this story can be found here.)

Wise woman.

She wanted more for herself and her future than what she was offered.

She bucked tradition and stood for what she knew was right for herself. Forget cultural taboos – this woman ditched it all and said she wasn’t having any of it.

Good for her!

It’s something we should all do, period wise.

Bucking menstrual traditions and throwing taboos out the window make room for enlightened thinking which leads to enlightened living and enlightened choices, period wise.

This bride envisioned more for herself and her future – expected more. Deserved more!  And,she bravely said “No” to all that threatened her dreams and hopes for the future.

When was the last time you said “No” to menstrual traditions and taboos, and took a good long look at your dreams and hopes for the future, period wise?  You deserve more, you know.

Period wise women stand up and stand out.  And, they don’t go with the flow, product wise.  Know your options.  Be open to change.  Experiment and explore.  And, do so with your hopes and dreams in mind.

Be strong. Stand for yourself, your ideals, your hopes and dreams.  And, say “No” to all that would tie you to traditional products and taboo thinking.

Be period wise.

No One Knew

A recent posting on Facebook by a young woman brought home the fact once again that girls are not only treated differently than boys, but their education is lacking in the basic skills needed to function independently.

Like – knowing to check fluid levels on the car.

This young woman, a senior in high school, posted: “I WANT MY CAR FIXED!!!!”

When asked what happened to her car, she posted:

Something with the transmission. No one knew that there was no transmission fluid and so on the way back from ***** the car just stopped changing gears. Luckily ***** and I were close to the house

No one knew.

Why did no one know? Because somewhere in her 12 years of public education someone dropped the ball.  And, in her 18 years no one thought it important to teach this girl about the upkeep of a machine that she would depend on to keep her safely mobile her entire life.

All too often the attitude is, “Girls don’t need to know such things. That’s what men are for.” Bah!  Where were the men in her life when the car broke down because no one knew there was no transmission fluid in it?  Where were the men in her life when she and her friend had to walk home?

NO! Raising girls to be and to become dependent on a man places them in a dangerous position – a potentially deadly one.

There are too few “princes” and far to many “princesses.”  Girls need to be empowered to become self-sufficient and not wait around hoping to become someone’s princess.

As a teen, I asked my dad if I could help him as he worked under the hood of his car.  His reply? “Babe, you won’t get a boyfriend with grease under your fingernails.”

I thought of the hands of the women I knew.  Never had I seen grease under their fingernails. In fact, they were always clean and neatly manicured.

“But, Daddy,” I replied, “I can always wear nail polish to hide the grease. And, what if I don’t get married? Don’t I need to know how to do things myself?”

Bless my Dad – he stopped what he was doing, wiped his greasy hands on a rag and walked me through basic car maintenance, showing me how to check things and how to change things. By the time he finished, my hands were greasy up to my elbows.

We’re letting our girls down. We are.  I’m not talking to men.  I’m talking to women.  WE are letting our girls down because WE aren’t teaching them.  Perhaps it’s because WE don’t know ourselves.  Or, maybe it’s because we think the men in their lives will teach them

Listen, Sister – what if the men in her life DON’T KNOW and don’t think to teach her. She’s not going to know to ask.

Give your girl the gift of life – give her the gift of independence.  Teach her what she needs to know to move easily through the world she inhabits so she can own it when she is on her own.

And, teach her one more thing while you’re at it – teach her to be responsible.

“No one knew” should not be an acceptable excuse.  She should know – and if you can’t teach her, find someone who can.

Know Thyself

I am blown away of the number of women unfamiliar with their bodies and who have never been “hands on” apart from the minimal touch required to keep it clean.

Tell me, Ladies, how many males do you know who are NOT hands on with their genitalia? From infancy on up until the day they die, males are hands on.  And, it’s accepted as the norm.

So, what’s up with us?  Why are we any different?  Is it just because ours doesn’t hang out in front and wiggle?  Or, because we don’t need to wrangle it when urinating to keep from spraying the wall…floor….? Does that give us a reason not to know and understand and handle what we have?

Or, is it more?

Is it that most of us are born with a hymen and social taboos prohibit us from doing anything that would harm that precious piece of skin lest we be considered to be of less value simply because our hymen is torn, stretched, or missing?

Is it because of misinformation that says that girls who handle themselves and are aware down there will become promiscuous?  (Did you know that’s the very reason some moms give for not wanting their girls to use tampons?)

When’s the last time you were hands on, genitally speaking?  When’s the last time you encouraged your girl to be hands on?

Look, Ladies, much of what we have is internal and what is visible, isn’t to us unless we take a mirror and explore the wonderful world down-under.

It’s time we do so – explore that is.  It’s your body, I don’t care how young or how old you are.  You’re responsible for her.  Know her – every millimeter of her. Know what she feels like.  Learn how she responds.  Decide what she likes. Understand what she dislikes and know why.

Be hands on.

There are two rules to hands on exploration.  Be gentle. Have clean hands.

Here’s a little homework for you when you’re not on, period wise.

  • Get a mirror and find your urethra. (Simply put – that’s where your pee comes out.)
  • Slip your finger into your vagina and feel for your bladder.  (This is best done when your bladder is full.)
  • After you locate your bladder (and even if you don’t), feel for your rectum and lower bowel.  (You might find that the meal you ate two days ago has neared the end of its journey and is approaching the exit of your digestive system as a lumpy, bumpy mass.)
  • While your finger is within your vagina, Kegel (tighten the muscles used to prevent or regulate urine flow) and see how tight you can squeeze.
  • While you have the mirror handy, see if you can find your hymen, or the remnants of it.
  • And, check out your inner labia.  Do they match? Do you notice any spots, freckles…warts?
  • Oh!  And, while you are down there, if you’ve given birth and had an episiotomy, see if you can find your scar!

There’s so much more to learn and do – it’s your body. Get to know her.  Understand her.  Appreciate her  Love her.  She’s dependent on you to take good care of her. How can you if you don’t know who she is?

Want some links?  Look below. Be advised. (Some contain simple drawings while others, actual pictures.) Be body wise. Be period wise.

Vaginal Self-Examination

Vagina – what’s normal and what’s not

What does a “normal” woman look like down there?

Female Anatomy – your ultimate guide

Vulva

Female External genitalia: Vulva

Something About Her

There was something about her that caught my attention.

I was pulling into a parking slot and she glanced my way as she walked in front of my car.  Our eyes met through the windshield as she passed.   She flipped her shoulder-length brown hair away from her face and a bruise appeared on the side of her neck.

She was an employee of the store I was about to enter – on her way to the shopping cart drop to retrieve carts..

I frequent this particular store weekly and I could not recall having seen her before.

There was something about her….

Perhaps it was the way she carried herself. Maybe it was the devil-may-care attitude. Perhaps it was the hesitation she showed before stepping in front of me.  Or, perhaps it was something I sensed more than saw.

The bruise on the side of her neck was circular – about an inch and a half across.  She took no pains to cover it.  The center was a dark purplish brown and the bruise faded to an ugly brown with sickly greenish yellow edges.  It was several days old.  No doubt she had forgotten she even had it.

I wondered about this girl and how she obtained her mark. And, if it was consensual.

And, I wondered where she was cycle wise.

There was something about her….

Upon entering the store,  I headed to the restroom.  As I waited for the one working stall, she entered. She looked my way and then with cell phone in hand, approached the mirror and placed her purse in the sink. She had business to attend to.

The first piece of business was a phone call.  As soon as her call was answered she began rummaging through her purse, pulling out various things – all makeup.

She was talking with a young man, apparently her boyfriend. The conversation began with soft tones.  She wanted to talk with him, missed him, was at work, loved him.  As she conversed with him, she held the phone in her left hand and applied makeup with her right, with attention given especially to her eyes.

And, then she asked this young man two sets of questions and the tone of the conversation changed dramatically.

1) Why am I always the one who does the calling?  Why don’t you ever call me?

2) Did you know you bruised my neck when you choked me? Do you even care?

I was standing where she could easily see me.  She knew she wasn’t alone.  And, I’m certain she knew I was looking at her.

All the while she talked, she applied makeup.

The stall emptied and I made no move to claim it.  I continued to watch her, and listen to her conversation.

She told the young man several things.

  • You can’t hurt me.  No one can.
  • My dad tried to hurt me.  But, he couldn’t.
  • My dad beat me and did things to me.  But, he couldn’t hurt me and I told him so.
  • You can’t hurt me either.
  • My dad was a weak man. Only weak men try to hurt others.
  • You tried to hurt me. That shows what a weakling you are.
  • You had no right to put your hands on me…no right to choke me.
  • You left a bruise. Yes, you did. I’m looking at it right now…it’s a choke bruise…a line that goes across my neck.
  • Hurt me? Ha! You CAN’T! No man can hurt me.
  • Let me tell you something, you little &*^%#$ #*@&$%. You’re just a 65 pound weakling and I can take you out if I want to.
  • What am I doing? I’m at work.
  • Where am I? I’m in the bathroom talking to you while I put on my makeup!
  • Yeah, my dad hurt me. But, he can’t hurt me anymore. No one can. Not even you.
  • Like I said, my dad was a weak man. Only weak men hurt women. So you know what that makes you.
  • Okay, I love you, too.

And, the phone call ended.  She grabbed her purse, gave me a quick glance and out the door she went.

Twice, within 5 minutes of my arrival, this girl had been in the same place I was. She had captured my attention from the beginning.

Twice was to become thrice.

With my shopping cart loaded, and my list marked off, I headed for checkout.  The lane I chose was the shortest. After placing my items on the belt, I slipped down toward the end so I could chat with the cashier and the courtesy clerk.

As I turned to speak with the young woman bagging my groceries, I came face to face with the heavily made up face of a young woman…a girl of no more than 20 – the girl I had seen in the parking lot – the girl I had seen in the restroom.

At first, I was speechless.  The amount of makeup on her face gave her a clownish appearance.  My mind thought back to images of her captured earlier – that fleeting moment when she turned toward me and caught my eye…in the restroom as I stood to the right of her and watched….

To the right – the previous views had all been from her right side.  And, the third time I was on her left. And, I was able to look her squarely in the face.

The left side of her face contained more makeup than the right.  And, it was the left side that she had worked on the most as she stood in front of the restroom mirror.  Her left eyelid was puffy and her left cheek a bit darker than the other.

She recognized me.  I smiled and she looked away, busying herself with the task at hand.

There was so much I wanted to say to this girl. But, I said nothing.  I simply stood nearby and watched.  I didn’t mention seeing her in the parking lot, or overhearing her phone call in the restroom.  I didn’t ask how she was doing, or if she was okay.  I didn’t do anything to cause alarm in her or raise questions among her coworkers.

Perhaps I should have.

When she finished bagging my groceries, I thanked her for taking such care with my purchases.  She stopped, turned and looked at me.

“Thank you.  I’m just doing my job,” she replied.

“No, you’re doing more than just your job and I appreciate it. I hope to see you the next time I’m here. I’m going to look for you. Take care of yourself. You’re important!” Oh, there was so much more I wanted to say.

I knew she was scared.  She was facing fear the only way she knew – chin out, head-on, with as much bravado as she could muster, and all the while hoping for the best.

Perhaps there will be another time…another meeting…another opportunity to cross paths with this girl who caught my attention. I hope so. I have something I’d like to slip into her hand.

I caught a fleeting glimpse of her again this morning – in the mirror of my own bathroom.  I guess that’s why she caught my attention in the first place – I had seen something familiar in her…I saw the me that used to be.

If you (or someone you know) happen to be caught up in domestic violence, and/or are a victim of abuse, know this – silence is not your friend and your situation won’t get better on its own.

Break the silence. Seek help. These sites below can help you find a way out of an abusive relationship.

Being period wise means you take care of yourself and take charge of your life – you do what’s right and best for yourself.  This attitude of self care, self awareness and self preservation extends into ALL areas of life, throughout every day of your cycle.

It’s not selfish.  It’s fact.  You can’t care for and protect others if you’ve not first cared for and protected yourself.

Be period wise.

Be the Heroine of Your Life

I stumbled upon Nora Ephron by accident – literally.  The July, 2014 issue of Prevention Magazine was on the floor, my arms were full of laundry, and I caught my toe on the magazine as I made my way through the house.

Laundry tumbled to the floor as the magazine skittered several feet and flipped open.

I stooped to pick up the scattered laundry and came up with the magazine in my hand instead of panties and tee shirts.

It had opened to page 63.  The picture was of two girls – both wearing masks, dresses and capes – standing in a super hero pose with head turned to the side, chin lifted, eyes squinted, chests out, hands on hips.  Powerful.  And, powerfully feminine.

At the top left of the page were these words:

Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim. – Nora Ephron

That’s awesome period wise advice.

Be the heroine of your life, not the victim = powerful…life changing…empowering.

For more on the amazing Nora Ephron check out the following links.

 

Words Heard at the Zoo

A trip to our local zoo provided me with a reminder to always be prepared.

Intent on walking the paths rather than gawking at animals, I packed light.

That means I took four things.

My zoo pass, my driver’s license, keys, and my cell phone. All were slipped into various pockets in the shorts I wore.

As I stepped out of the house, I hesitated and almost slipped back in for a moment.

I was leaving sans product…no pad…Instead…tampon.  I quickly thought of the last time I had come across someone who was in need of product. It had been quite a while and I reasoned that this trip out would be no different than others.

So, I rushed out and drove off eager to make it to the zoo at opening time.

I had been at the zoo a total of 2 1/2 hours and was making my way back toward the entrance – had reached the halfway mark – when I noticed a couple heading my way.  They were talking animatedly and she was upset.

At first, I assumed they were fighting, but as the distance between us closed, I was able to make out words.

Words like:

  • NO!
  • I don’t have anything with me!
  • It wasn’t expected.
  • What am I going to do?
  • Yes!  I LOOKED in my purse.
  • No, the restroom doesn’t have any.

I automatically patted my hip pocket and when I found it empty, I reached for my front pocket.  It was empty, too.  And, no…there was nothing in my car.

I had nothing to offer her.  NOTHING.

As she and her husband passed me, I felt a lump form in my throat and tears sting my eyes.

I knew better than to go out unprepared, but chose to do so anyway.

Period wise = period prepared.

Mother’s Day

To all mothers – Happy Mother’s Day!

To all who mother others – Thank you for your sacrifice, your love and devotion, your constant and unwavering care and concern, and for your selfless all inclusive attention to detail while keeping sight of the whole.

For the nurturing, the acceptance, the encouragement, the correction given and the time invested – I thank you as one who was mothered and as one who has mothered and still…..

Once a mother always a mother, or so the saying goes. 😉

A word of Mother’s Day advice to moms – take the time to do something nice for yourself – don’t wait for someone to do something for you.

If they do, whoo hoo!  Good for them – be sure to remember them on their birthday.

If they don’t?

Celebrate yourself!

You’re the one who wanted the little tarts and the one who gave them the ability to become independent (which, by the way, is what mothers are supposed to do) – so celebrate yourself!

You, my dear, deserve it!

Yes!  You do.  Watch this video to see just how much!

World’s Toughest Job

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Period Wise Women BSE (Breast Self Exam)

A dear friend recently underwent surgery to eradicate and prevent breast cancer. I wish her all the best as I pray for a speedy and full recovery.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

The National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM) is a collaboration of national public service organizations, professional medical associations, and government agencies working together to promote breast cancer awareness, share information on the disease, and provide greater access to services. (Read more.)

For more information about breast cancer and how you can make a difference, visit  Susan G. Komen and click around the site.

It’s not enough to know about breast cancer – we all need to be proactive concerning it.

How?

By conducting a monthly BSE (Breast Self Exam).

John Hopkins Medical Center states:

“Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important.”

It’s important that younger women, as well as older, practice BSE on a regular basis to become and remain aware of what’s normal and what’s not.

Beginning in their 20s, women should be told about the benefits and limitations of breast self-exam (BSE). Women should be aware of how their breasts normally look and feel and report any new breast changes to a health professional as soon as they are found. Finding a breast change does not necessarily mean there is a cancer.

A woman can notice changes by knowing how her breasts normally look and feel and feeling her breasts for changes (breast awareness), or by choosing to use a step-by-step approach (with a BSE) and using a specific schedule to examine her breasts. (Read more at The American Cancer Society.)

And, lest we forget, Breast Cancer is not a women only disease.  Men get it, too.  If your guy won’t or doesn’t know how to self examine, then you show him / do it for him. He won’t mind. Mine doesn’t.  And, while you’re at it, teach him to perform a TSE.  That’s his favorite part. 😉

Self awareness and self examination is oh so important to early detection and to living a period wise life. Know the changes your breasts go through each cycle.  Learn what’s normal, know what’s not.

If you aren’t sure, ask your doctor or health care provider.

Early detection saves lives.