Author Archives: Suzan

About Suzan

menstrual activist , alternative product advocate, TSS survivor

Who Determines Your Worth?

I picked up the Avon book (Campaign 4, 2013) lying on my desk and leafed through it.

I’m not a girly-girl and don’t have much interest in jewelry, perfume, makeup, or “fashionable” things.  (Who exactly is it that determines what’s fashionable and what’s not??)

But, I do enjoy looking at the colors and shapes of things Avon wants me to purchase.

AND, I enjoy reading the descriptions of the items for sale.

Here’s one: “Put your best face forward. Leave your flaws behind.”  You’ve probably guessed this is an attempt to sell their foundation (makeup that covers your face and hides “flaws.”)

Isn’t that hilarious?

Have you ever considered that Avon (and others) assume you are ugly and kindly suggest their makeup is better than putting a bag over your head?  Read it again if you don’t believe me.  Would you buy something from someone who has the gall to assume that you are ugly without their makeup?

Hello?  Leave your flaws behind? What flaws?

  • The wrinkles that crease my face?  Hey, I’ve earned every one of them!
  • The freckles that grace my cheeks? Those are kisses from the sun!
  • The scar above my right eyebrow? I won that!
  • My rosy cheeks?  That’s the color of health!
  • That little bump on my chin? That’s proof my hormones are still working!

These “flaws” are what make me uniquely ME!  When I look in the mirror I want to see ME, not some Barbie Doll image of me.

Put my best face forward?  I only have one face and it’s the one my friends and family love to see.  Why would I want to cover it?  Who do I need to hide myself from?

My dad said “a little paint will make any old barn look better” and I guess there’s truth in that statement. Enhancing what we like about ourselves – that’s one thing.  Feeling we have to cover up “flaws” to put our “best face forward” is quite another.

And, I’ll admit it angers me.  If grown women are falling for this type of advertisement, what about girls?

When a girl reads Avon’s words: “put your best face forward – leave your flaws behind” her first thought is to look in the mirror and find her “flaws.” And, she will use the air brushed picture of the make up covered model as the template for determining what “flaws” she has.

Who determines your worth?

Companies and corporations that know nothing about us and care only for our money tell us what to think about ourselves, how to see ourselves, and that without their product we are less than we should be.

We believe their lies.

Why?

Because we want to look the best we can and care little about being the best we can.  Beauty comes from within – not from something applied to the surface.

Before you buy, ask yourself why.

At 6 years of age, I pointed to a young friend who had a mark on her face and said “look, she has a mole!”  Mom quietly corrected me and my opinion of her worth – “it’s not a mole, it’s a beauty mark.”

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Look in the mirror and see who you really are.  You might be surprised.

Full Throttle

Yesterday, Danica Patrick became the first woman to secure the top spot for any race in NASCAR’s premier circuit when she won the Daytona 500 pole with a 196.434 mph lap.

“I was brought up to be the fastest driver, not the fastest girl. That was instilled in me from very young, from the beginning. Then I feel like thriving in those moments, where the pressure’s on, has also been a help for me. I also feel like I’ve been lucky in my career to be with good teams and have good people around me. I don’t think any of it would have been possible without that. For those reasons, I’ve been lucky enough to make history, be the first woman to do many things. I really just hope that I don’t stop doing that. We have a lot more history to make. We are excited to do it.” — Danica Patrick

I wonder…what are we instilling in our girls?

My hope is we are encouraging them to embrace life and live it full throttle!

When Words Won’t Flow

Have you ever had days when you just can’t find the words?

Communication is harder and though there may be a conversation going on in your head, getting it out and sharing it with others is nearly impossible.

Rambling, disjointed thoughts jotted on paper are the extent of and result of any writing exercise.

Why is it some days we just can’t seem to find the words to express ourselves?

Can it be that hormones are to blame?

Dr. Laura Berman, in Hormones 101, says yes.

Hormones are the driving force behind our bodies, minds, and bedrooms.

Researchers have found that hormones control almost all our physical, emotional, and sexual functions. Hormones dictate hunger, sleep, sexual response, weight, and even your mood.

While her post centers on hormonal fluctuations experienced during menopause, she offers sound advice for all of us, no matter where in our menstrual experience we find ourselves.

We all experience frustration. We all experience days where we wonder what the heck is going on and if our minds/bodies will ever get in sync.

On days like this, patience is truly a virtue.

#PeriodTalk – Are You Missing Out?

If you’ve never attended the monthly TweetChat #PeriodTalk, I’d like you to glimpse what you’re missing.

This past Friday, www.bepreparedperiod.com hosted Learning to Love Yourself & Your Period.

A sampling of the #PeriodTalk follows.

nicolemjardim Women have many different opinions about their period based on their very first period experience #periodtalk -1:11 PM Feb 8th, 2013

MenMenstruation @nicolemjardim My first experience w/ periods (even if not my own) was of fascination and curiousity. It drove me to learn more! #PeriodTalk -1:17 PM Feb 8th, 2013

FebyTweets @nicolemjardim Communication is crucial. We have to break the cycle of shame. #PeriodTalk -1:18 PM Feb 8th, 2013

_EndoHappy @nicolemjardim it’s so important that girls are encouraged to talk openly about it #periodtalk -1:20 PM Feb 8th, 2013

MenMenstruation @nicolemjardim Unfortunately periods were a topic to be hidden from boys and all things around it was hush-hush. #PeriodTalk -1:21 PM Feb 8th, 2013

FebyTweets @nicolemjardim In a perfect world, every culture would treat menarche with respect and celebrate it. #PeriodTalk -1:23 PM Feb 8th, 2013

Lunapads A4: Positive, releasing, life-affirming, cleansing, powerful. #PeriodTalk -1:23 PM Feb 8th, 2013

JesDrummond A4: I adore my cycle now that I understand it. Hope it will b around for many more years. #PeriodTalk -1:23 PM Feb 8th, 2013

nicolemjardim Many of us have been taught to not acknowledge our periods because there are many more important things to worry about #periodtalk -1:24 PM Feb 8th, 2013

MenMenstruation The worst thing for boys AND girls is that attempting to hide all things #period only makes for a negative attitude towards it! #PeriodTalk -1:26 PM Feb 8th, 2013

nicolemjardim The first step to period love is to begin honoring your body and all that it offers you on a monthly basis #periodtalk -1:26 PM Feb 8th, 2013

GladRags My favorite reason for not going out is “sorry, i’m really busy menstruating right now.” It’s a task all by itself! 😀 #periodtalk -1:27 PM Feb 8th, 2013

Mommy_to_5 I also think I wouldn’t mind my period so much if it was an aunt flow kind of period instead of an aunt flood kind of period #periodtalk -1:29 PM Feb 8th, 2013

FebyTweets Understanding the menstrual cycle and honouring the different phases is empowering. #PeriodTalk -1:34 PM Feb 8th, 2013

Mommy_to_5 I am open to anything that makes aunt flood become a distant relative that I only have to deal with on occasion #periodtalk -1:34 PM Feb 8th, 2013

AlisonLeipzig Body confidence is loving and owning who you really are. THAT is self-love. #periodtalk -1:36 PM Feb 8th, 2013

Lunettecup @AlisonLeipzig Q6: I love that I’m not typical. I have curves. Although I hate the cellulite I love the curves! I am WOMAN! :) #periodtalk -1:41 PM Feb 8th, 2013

AlisonLeipzig I used to feel like my body betrayed me and that my body was my enemy and there was a ton of emotion attached! #periodtalk -1:42 PM Feb 8th, 2013

JesDrummond It’s hard standing on the cliff again watching my 9 year old girl. I’m careful to love even my flaws for her. #PeriodTalk -1:46 PM Feb 8th, 2013

The next #PeriodTalk TweetChat will be held on March 8, 2013 at 2 pm ET.

#PeriodTalk Learning to Love Yourself & Your Period

Today at 2 PM Eastern Time, #PeriodTalk TweetChat Learning to Love Yourself & Your Period

Guests are Nicole Jardim, Founder of The Healthy Elements & Alison Leipzig, Body Confidence Coach

If that’s not enough to interest you – here are some excerpts from Nicole’s February 4, 2013 blog post Period Love = Self Love.

Do you know that your very first period experience can determine your perspective on your future periods? It can even have an effect on how you view your female body and whether you experience health problems with your reproductive organs. That’s why a positive experience can be so crucial to a girl’s image of her body and her period.

My point is that period love and self-love go hand in hand and we need to improve this sad state of affairs. I waited way too long to start loving myself and if I can help a girl see herself in a more positive light then I’m moving in the right direction!

So with that said, I want to invite you to join me for a Tweet Chat hosted by Be Prepared Period on Friday February 8th at 2pm Eastern. The topic is Learning to Love Yourself & Your Period, naturally :) . I am a guest along with my good friend Alison Leipzig a Body Confidence Coach. I’ll give you the low-down on how to love and honor your body’s unique cyclical nature as well as tips and practices to implement now. Alison will show you how to become BFF’s with your body and give you the tools to ignite your own body confidence!

If you miss the TweetChat a transcript will be available at Be Prepared Period.

 

Periods – A Guy’s View

If you haven’t read John Corrigan’s piece, Time of the Month a Time of Care, in The Temple News (December 4, 2012), I hope you will take a few minutes and do so.

Not sure you want to?  Here’s a sampling.

The calendar failed me once again, refusing to mention it’s that time of the month. No one prepares guys for how to handle their ladies’ menstrual cycle.

Since you can’t prevent the pain, you have to remain cautious around your agonizing girlfriend.

Conversing with your girlfriend while Aunt Flo is visiting is like navigating through a minefield — anything can set her off.

They call it a period, but an exclamation point is more appropriate.

 

Performance Enhancing

Okay, I’ll admit…I’m not usually a fan of the Super Bowl Half Time Show.

But, this year I found myself drawn to it.

Not because the performer was Beyonce – but because the performer was a woman.

I wondered where she was in her cycle and if she used strengths found in this cycle day to aid her performance this evening.

And, I wondered if her performance would have differed had it fallen on any other cycle day.

As a woman, do you find that your cycle day influences your performance?

Do you use strengths found in each cycle day to aid and enhance your performance?

This hurts! I Feel Like I’m in Labor, Ow!

Menstrual cramps are a monthly reality for many and for some they are disabling.

What advice would you give a young woman who expresses her menstrual pain as “I’m trying to walk, this really hurts. I feel like I’m in labor. This hurts! Contraction!”

If you think of the uterus as a muscle (which it is) and menstrual cramps as a “charlie horse” of the uterus (muscle contracts strongly/cramps up, cutting off blood flow to the muscle, causing pain, soreness, etc) then it makes sense to treat menstrual cramps as uterine charlie horses. Period cramps are just that – cramps.  And, cramps are exaggerated/strong contractions. One of the functions of the uterus is to expel by contracting (that’s how babies are born and it also aids in expulsion of menstrual fluid).

Take 47 seconds and view Alexis Chaffin’s “Cramp vlog” below. Then join me afterward and let’s provide a list of known helps for menstrual cramps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=eUfx0Suz7bE

Tips for relieving menstrual cramps/uterine charlie horses:

  1. Massage (more information)
  2. Ibuprofen (take as soon as your period begins, or just prior to its start)
  3. Heat to lower abdomen or lower back
  4. Rest
  5. Gentle exercise (many find activity helps)
  6. Calcium/potassium (chocolate milk and a banana – which many crave during their period)
  7. (Please continue the list with your suggestion(s) in the comment section.)

On Your Own

How old were you when you realized you were on your own, period wise?

This became a reality for a 12 year old friend of mine when her period began while at church

It was unexpected and she was unprepared.

And so was her mom.

(You know how it is – you don’t miss something until you need it and that last pad used during your last period, that wasn’t replaced, sure is missed when you start somewhere other than home.)

I asked if she had requested a pad of any of the women present.

No, that thought didn’t even enter her mind.

When asked what she did, she proudly announced that she put toilet paper in her panty and tied her jacket around her waist.

Then she said, “It really wasn’t a big deal.”

(Wasn’t a big deal….  I’m glad it wasn’t.  As we know, It could have been a really big deal – and may be the next time she’s caught unprepared.)

I left her with several suggestions, period wise.

  1. Keep a pad in your purse and one in Mom’s purse.  You never know when you/Mom/or someone else might need it.
  2. Stash a few pads at church, in the women’s restroom or someplace you can quickly and easily access.
  3. Place a pad in your mom’s/dad’s car (dashboard glove compartment is ideal).
  4. Consider using a small makeup bag for keeping pads, wipes and a spare pair of panties handy. (can be kept in Mom’s trunk, under the car seat, restroom at church, locker, backpack, purse)
  5. Be sure to replace any of the stashed pads used – that way you are always prepared.
  6. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for a pad. Women have periods and many keep something in their purse for “just in case” and will be happy to share.
  7. Talk with your church’s women’s group and ask about creating a “for emergency” bag which can hang on the hook inside each stall in the women’s restroom (small gift bag containing a wipe, pad, liner, tampon)

Unexpected and unprepared are two words that often equal “big deal” when used in regard to our periods.

And, we often feel we are on our own when it comes to managing our periods. We deal with it, like my 12 year old friend, privately. We make do, the best we can with what we have, and hope it doesn’t become a big deal. When in reality, we don’t have to “go it alone!”

It’s so much easier when we menstruate in community – open to sharing, to discussing, to learning. Imagine this precious 12 year old saying to you, “My period started, do you have a pad I can use?” and you saying to her as you reach into your purse, “Sure! Here, I’m so glad you asked! Don’t worry, it’s happened to all of us!”

What period wise suggestions would you offer a tween or teen new to menstruation?