Author Archives: Suzan

About Suzan

menstrual activist , alternative product advocate, TSS survivor

Preventing Childhood Sexual Abuse

Would you be embarrassed or find it difficult to tell you child (or grandchild), “Don’t touch that, it’s hot!” or, “Always look both ways before crossing the street” or, “If you eat that, it will make you sick and you might die.”

Of course not!  You love your children (and grandchildren) and want them happy, healthy, and whole.  And, you are willing to say and do anything that will keep them safe.

So, why do we often delay telling our children (and grandchildren) about other ways to keep themselves safe?  Why do we find it difficult to talk with them about Stranger Danger, about sexual predators and the possibility of/potential for sexual abuse?

Is it because we are uncomfortable with the topic ourselves? Or, do we truly have our heads in the proverbial sand thinking it can’t/won’t happen to anyone we love and care about?

I came across a blog post the other day by Amanda Morin on Popsugar.com entitled “Why I Had to Talk to My Kids About Sex Offenders.”

I could think of a lot of reasons why she NEEDED to but was curious about why she HAD to.

Two paragraphs into her piece I discovered why.

Last year, though, I was blindsided when someone in my family was sentenced on charges of possession of sexually explicit material. This was a difficult conversation I never thought to have with my kids — a conversation about child pornography and sexual predators.

And, of course, after her discover came the concern/fear that this important conversation with her children may be too late.

As any mother would, she immediately wondered if her own children had been victimized in any way by this family member.

What would you do if you discovered a family member or close friend had been charged with a sexual crime involving children? Would you know how to approach your children (grandchildren)?

Did you know that most perpetrators are people known by the child and trusted by them?  And, trusted by the parents as well?

Stranger Danger is real, but the home grown variety is most often the greatest threat.

Friends, family members, teachers/clergy/coaches have opportunity to become close to your child and to gain their trust. This is how life is.

But, if their interest in your child is other than wholesome, they have opportunity to not only abuse them, but to groom them in preparation for years of abusive behavior.

This is why it’s necessary to talk with your children (grandchildren) – not to alarm them or to scare them, but to arm them and enable them to protect themselves.  Children often do not know it’s okay to tell an adult “no.”  They need us to give them that permission and for us to let them know that if “no” is not heeded, it’s okay to scream and kick and enlist the help of others and not worry about upsetting the adult who won’t take “no” for an answer.

And, we need to let our children (grandchildren) know it’s okay to come to us with anything, even if it’s something they feel uncomfortable, confused or scared about.

Here are a few links to help begin conversation among adults who care for/about children and age appropriate conversations with the children (grandchildren) in your care.

A recent event in our local news reminded me that parents are usually the last to know if/when their children are being abused. And, that, my friends, is a scary thought.

A 46-year-old man was arrested and accused of sneaking into a home through an open bedroom window and having sex with a young girl in her own bed. Police said it all happened while her parents slept just down the hallway.

“The fact that the suspect was going to the residence with the parents at home — that’s what’s quite disturbing,” said Major Bill Sharp with the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Department. — by Nick Beres  (Read more.)

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

  • Did you know that girls who are sexually or physically abused may reach menarche earlier or later than average?
  • Are you aware that girls who are sexually abused often have emotional issues regarding their periods?
  • Did you know that monthly bleeding of menstruation can be a trigger that brings up memories of trauma, assault, abuse – and can be difficult to overcome because of its recurring nature?

Be period wise.

7 Ways Lindsey’s Menstrual Cup Changed Her Life

I came across a blog on So Easy Being Green that I simply cannot resist sharing.

Perhaps it’s the colors. Or, maybe it’s the beautiful pictures. Or…it could be that the topic is reusable menstrual cups.

It could be that it’s all that and more – the “more” being Lindsey and her delightful way with words.

Lindsey describes herself as a “green Mommy blogger” whose first and foremost roles are “Mommy” and “Wife.”

7 Ways My Menstrual Cup Changed My Life describes Lindsey’s experience with a Lunette cup – (size 2 according to the pictures) and her thoughts concerning it.

“It has literally changed my life and I finally found freedom from my period.” — Lindsey

If you’ve never given reusable menstrual cups much thought, do the period wise thing – be open to change.

Currently, three companies of reusable menstrual cups have received US FDA approval: Lunette, Moon Cup/Keeper Cup, and DivaCup.  Instead SoftCup has also received FDA approval for both the disposable and the reusable cups.

Your Cervix Can Tell Your Cycle Day Count

From the age of 21, for the next 32 years I relied more on what my cervix told me about my cycle than what my calendar did.

Did you know that your cervix is an accurate means of knowing when to expect ovulation and when to expect menstruation?  And, that you can accurately judge your start time to within an hour of beginning just by learning the signs your body is giving you?

Beautiful Cervix provides pictures of an entire cycle, showing the changes the cervix goes through and provides comments.

If you are not aware of the changes your cervix goes through each day of your cycle, or wish to know when to expect your fertile days and your period’s please take a few minutes and visit the site, look at the pictures, read the information provided.

This is period wise information that you should not be without!

 

 

Kindness Trumps April Fool’s Day

There’s nothing funny about telling a girl “your period has started…it’s all over the back of your skirt! You’d better go the restroom…use your notebook to cover your rear as you go!”

A teen with irregular and heavy periods, I often experienced huge, embarrassing leaks.  And, for some reason a few of my friends thought it would be funny to play an April Fool’s Day joke on me.

I failed to see the humor in it.  There’s nothing funny about thinking you’ve leaked.  And, there’s NOTHING funny about being told you’ve experienced a HUGE leak that’s visible and needs immediate attention when you’ve not.

As we teach our girls how to deal with menstruation and to honor menstruation in others, let’s be vigilant in teaching them to be supportive, considerate and compassionate in their dealings with other girls.

Predicting Your Final Period – Is It Possible?

A common question among girls is – “When will I get my first period?” Another is, “How will I know my period has started?”

And, with women it isn’t much different – “When will I get my last period?”, and, “How will I know when I’ve reached menopause?”

According to WebMD, a new method may help pinpoint a woman’s final period.

The formula is based on the changing levels of two hormones: estradiol, which is found in the ovaries; and follicle-stimulating hormone, which is present in the brain and gives instructions to the ovaries.

Estradiol levels fall and follicle-stimulating hormone levels rise as women go through menopause, the University of California, Los Angeles, researchers explained in a news release from the Endocrine Society.

Currently, doctors monitor women’s menstrual bleeding patterns to determine the menopause transition phase. However, this phase is an imprecise indicator of when the final menstrual period will occur, according to the authors of the study published in the April issue of the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism.

Menopause brings change. A woman’s risk of heart disease and osteoporosis increase. The thought is that knowing when a woman can expect her final period will give her, perhaps, a 2 year head start on proactive intervention.

Do you think it would be period wise to know when to expect your final period?

Keep Your Ovaries – Study Says

This is a matter dear to my heart – and one I argued with my own GYN about prior to and up to the moment of my own hysterectomy.

Me: “When you get in there, if my ovaries are not diseased or irreversibly damaged by the tumors, I insist that you save them!”

He countered with: chances are great that following hysterectomy your ovaries will cease functioning – at your age, menopause is just around the corner anyway. By removing them we remove any possibility of ovarian cancer down the road. You can always take the HRT route.

Me again: “I respect your thoughts and concern, but it’s my body and my decision.  I keep my ovaries if at all possible!”

For me, the period wise thing to do was to keep my ovaries.  And, I did. They continue to function. I still cycle. Not as regularly as I did when younger (peri-menopause does that, you know), but I do feel the affects of the hormones my ovaries continue to crank out. And, I know I made the right decision.

While surfing the web for ideas (actually, I was bored and was looking for something interesting to read) I stumbled upon a report on Fox News entitled “When Removing the Uterus, Leave the Ovaries”. The byline indicated it originated with Reuters so I headed there, searched “hysterectomy” and found the article by Kerry Grens – which directed me to Obstetrics & Gynecology.

Obstetrics & Gynecology, also known as The Green Journal, has been around 60 years and is the official publication of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. The goal of the journal “is to promote excellence in the clinical practice of obstetrics and gynecology and closely related fields.”

The April, 2013, issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology provides an interesting report about a study conducted to determine the effects of removing ovaries (oophorectomy) vs saving them (ovarian conservation) at the time of a hysterectomy for benign disease.

It’s noted that the participants of this study were nurses – 30,117 women – and the follow-up process was long-term: 28 years.

An excerpt follows.

Each year approximately 610,000 U.S. women undergo hysterectomy for benign disease and 23% of women aged 40–44 years and 45% of women aged 45–49 years have concomitant elective oophorectomy to prevent the subsequent development of ovarian cancer.1,2 Bilateral oophorectomy, when compared with ovarian conservation, is associated with a decreased risk of ovarian cancer but may increase risks of death from coronary heart disease (CHD) and all causes.3,4 Although some studies are not consistent with these findings, they include small numbers of women, have short-term or delayed onset of follow-up, or compared oophorectomy with natural menopause.5,6The Nurses’ Health Study is an ongoing prospective observational study of women and health outcomes. In a previous investigation over 24 years of follow-up, we found that bilateral oophorectomy, compared with ovarian conservation, at the time of hysterectomy was associated with a lower risk of incident ovarian and breast cancer but a higher risk of incident CHD, stroke, lung cancer and total cancers, and mortality from all causes.7…we found that at no age was there an overall survival benefit associated with bilateral oophorectomy compared with ovarian conservation at the time of hysterectomy for benign disease. Our analysis…found that at the time of hysterectomy, bilateral oophorectomy was associated with a marked reduction in mortality from ovarian cancer and a lower risk of mortality from breast cancer when oophorectomy was performed before age 47.5 years. Among the 30,117 study participants followed over 28 years, 44 women with ovarian conservation and four with oophorectomy died from ovarian cancer. However, these risks were overshadowed by the significantly increased risks of dying from other causes: a 23% increase in CHD mortality, a 29% increase in lung cancer mortality, a 49% increase in colorectal cancer mortality, and a 13% increase in all-cause mortality.

Additionally, it was found that

  • oophorectomy before age 50 years in women who never used estrogen therapy was associated with a 41% increased risk of all-cause mortality
  • lung cancer and cardiovascular disease mortality were also elevated only in the women who never used estrogen therapy
  • oophorectomy increased the risks of cardiovascular disease and all-cause mortality in low-risk women
  • oophorectomy may have a greater effect on otherwise healthy women
  • for women who never smoked and never used estrogen therapy, oophorectomy before age 50 years was associated with a 200% increase in mortality
  • oophorectomy may be associated with increased risk of colorectal cancer
  • oophorectomy may affect lung cancer risk
  • 80% of both cardiovascular disease deaths and all deaths occurred 15 or more years after hysterectomy

A reminder to women with a known genetic tendency toward ovarian and breast cancer was issued and a warning to women who undergo elective oophorectomy at the time of hysterectomy:

At the time of hysterectomy, women with known high-penetrance susceptibility genes for ovarian and breast cancer (BRCA, Lynch) should strongly consider oophorectomy because the lifetime risk of ovarian cancer is high.18 In contrast, approximately 300,000 U.S. women without these mutations, and many more worldwide, have bilateral oophorectomy at the time of hysterectomy for benign disease every year. Consequently, the association of oophorectomy with increased mortality in the overall population has substantial public health implications.

For more information on the study and its findings, please visit Obstetrics & Gynecology: April 2013 – Volume 121 – Issue 4 – p 709–716

Flowing Red

What image comes to mind when I say the words flowing red?

Perhaps of flowing red hair?                       Or a flowing red dress?

What if I say I am flowing…?

Did the flowing red image in your mind disappear, to be replaced with another?

If you say of YOURSELF I am flowing…, what image does your mind call forth?

A flowing dress becomes art when captured with an eye for detail and by someone who sees beyond what is and beholds the beauty….

Yes.  The beauty.  Flowing is beautiful.

I challenge you to break the taboos that prevent you from seeing your flow as the beauty she is.

Be period wise.  Look beyond what is and behold the beauty of your menstruation.

Why are we hesitant?

Your menstrual product of choice is not working as well as you would like…leaks, frequent changes, itching, irritation, cost…you’re not completely happy with it, but you are not open to change.

Why not?

If we are dissatisfied with clothing, what do we do? Continue to wear what we’ve always worn?

If we don’t receive service we like at a restaurant, what do we do? Go back to the same place time and again expecting different treatment?

If we don’t like a particular brand/type of food, what do we do? Purchase it again and again, eat it and complain about how much we dislike/detest it?

If we are watching TV and don’t like what’s on the channel, what do we do? Settle in to view something that doesn’t meet our needs or speak to our desires?

No!

Then, why do we continue to use the same menstrual product for years even though our needs change?

There are some awesome menstrual products available now and if you’re stuck in the rut of using the same product you’ve used since X, I encourage you to open yourself to the idea of trying something new.

What do I recommend?    I recommend that you shop your options.  Take a chance. Try something new.  Explore the new pads, consider cloth, and give menstrual cups a look.

As always, I welcome questions and will help you find answers as you look into the options available to you.

Are Clots Normal?

Holly and Charisse are two women who regularly talk about periods and things every girl and woman should know.

In their most recent video, they answer the question, “are clots normal?” and provide additional information about what causes clots and what, if anything, needs to be done about them.

2 minutes and 40 seconds of video – it’s period wise to take the time and watch, especially if you have a tween or teen girl.

Overcoming the Menstrual Taboo

Did you catch the article high school student Kira Gabriel wrote for her school paper on “Societal stigmas against acknowledging menstruation“?

She begins strong.

In its most recent issue, Seventeen Magazine ran a Tampax Radiant tampon ad that read, “New Tampax Radiant helps keep your period invisible. How you stand out is up to you.” The pseudo-feminist slogan implies that the only thing that can identify a woman on her period is her period.

And, she ends strong.

The current taboo against menstruation tells women that an essential part of their nature is disgusting and needs to be hidden. It is imperative that society accepts that, in order for it to continue, women must menstruate. Shaming them for it is a detriment to everyone.

Wow!

To read all that comes between the beginning and the end, please click on the link above.

My guess is you’ll be cheering and shouting and clapping just like I was when I read it.

Wish I’d written these period wise words!

What period wise actions are you taking to end the taboos of menstruation?